DEMO 1.17.05 11:40am

Here's yet another idea that I felt fairly jazzed about back in the day. Even though I started it on January 17th, 2005 the version below didn't come to fruition until October 16th of that year. I'm not quite sure why I neglected to pursue this idea for A Forest Through The Trees. Looking back it seems like it might have fit in somewhere if I could capture some acceptable vocals (unlike in some spots on this demo).

The choices I make as to which ideas deserve attention seem so arbitrary at times. Those choices are undoubtedly shaped by the experiences I'm having at any given moment, pushing my artistic inclinations in different ways at different times. I guess it's a mirror of some sort, though I'm not sure if it's a full length one where you can see yourself exactly from head to toe, or just one of those wavy ones from the circus.

It doesn't matter. This ceaseless fountain of creativity forces me to make decisions, to choose which creative impulses I want to explore more thoroughly than others. It doesn't mean that the others are unworthy of exploration. They're as valid as all the rest. Why did we decide to go down one path in life versus another? Why did we make the decisions we made? Is it just who we were at that point in time? Were we destined to make those decisions the way we did? Why did we do this and not that? I don't know. I wish I did. Perhaps if I could recall my entire life in perfect detail, I might.

Thanks for listening.

So you say you never cared for drums
And much prefer to hear the strums
Can't you see my friend that they are one and the same?
You can entertain the eager crowds with me
You can help defy the false security
Hurry up come here and join this loyal team

Oh what can I do to discover the creature's delight?
Creature's Delight!

Do the quick decisions conquer you?
Do you scoff at what you turn into?
Will the inspiration for you be the fires?
Spread the word no matter what it takes
Everybody makes the same mistakes
Will you come and give it more than it requires?

Oh what can I do to discover the creature's delight?
Creature's Delight!

Teach us!
Teach us the creature's delight!!!

DEMO 1.17.05 10:19am

I remember being very excited about this idea around the time I wrote it, a feeling that tapered off gradually as time passed. This song could have morphed into something better I suspect, but right now all I can say is meh. Maybe it has some life in it somewhere, some way to coax a more well-rounded musical experience, which is to say perhaps I have it within myself to concoct such an outcome. But perhaps not. I guess we'll see.

It's definitely odd and humbling to reflect back on something that you were so enamored by earlier in life, only to realize later that it really wasn't all that great to begin with. I reckon that's part of what this whole process of sharing these demos is about. Perhaps it will help me temper my emotions as I create in the future, to accept that it is fundamentally part of who I am and not to get so worked up about it. But that's part of the fun though, right?
In the past, I've become very anxious at times when I wasn't able to create on the schedule I desired; sometimes I still feel that way. It's been difficult to separate the creative side of my life from the practical side. It's so enticing to slip into this world where I place certain sounds in a certain order that pleases me. It's an escape I feel guilty about at times, while at others I feel embiggened through my cromulent performance. What a strange dichotomy.

I remember right after I finished mastering A Forest Through The Trees as I was driving away from the studio. Even though I reveled in the afterglow of the finished work, I was convinced something awful was going to happen to me at any moment, as if I had purged something vital from my psyche and that my story was consequently at an end. What an ego I must have to place myself so squarely at the center of things. But as my friend Thomas Priestley wisely said of the album, 'It's just another tree.' Anyway, thanks for listening.

Tied down in the fifth dimension

Classy calls on a silent ride

Juicy words when you seek attention

Disarray when you don't confide

Oh can't you feel that rhythm flow?

Oh like it was in '94?

Baked down in the southern city

Raise a flag for the hue and cry

Shoot the cup when you condescend

Vex me down when you don't intend

Turn me loose when the rhythm's running dry

Oh can't you feel that rhythm flow?

Oh like it was in '94?

Oh can't you feel that rhythm flow?

Oh like it was in '94?

DEMO 1.17.05 9:53am

Moving into 2005. This song went through several different iterations until I arrived at the file listed below. As I continued work on A Forest Through The Trees, I decided that this song didn't quite fit with the others on the album. However, since I obviously wanted to share it, I did so before the album was even released. I obviously had some strong feelings about it.

is the keeper of the uncarved
always searching for a blade?
has the ism that you've trusted
now become a masquerade?
do you think there's something out there
coming for you in the night?
won't you tell me, what's your pleasure sir,
out of mind or out of sight?

oh, they're watching over me!
i'm ready to betray the bad authority!

does confusion from messiahs
leave you nothing to control?
do you think there's something better
than just doing what you're told?
can't you see the soldiers marching
as you scream your favorite tune?
is there reason to believe
when all you see is sun and moon?

oh, they're watching over me!
i'm ready to betray the bad authority!

so come away with me tonight
we'll travel at the speed of light
we'll drop our faith to join the craze
our dreams are full of golden rays

oh, they're watching over me!
i'm ready to betray the bad authority!

DEMO 12.2.04 3:43pm

Here’s an idea that I always liked but never got around to fully recording. It’s another tune in 5/4, which I highly recommend. The first demo is just a drum track from 12.2.04 that changes a bit here and there (it takes a few seconds to kick in btw).

I spent about six months away from this idea before starting to work on it again, until finally reaching a stopping point with the next version dated 8.23.05. The tempo is a good bit faster, plus I’ve added on the fundamental layers as well. It’s fairly close to the final version below, so if you have other things to do I’d just skip to the end and save yourself two minutes and twenty-four seconds.

The last version is from 10.16.05. Basically, I decided to cut the intro and just start right in on the verse, plus mix everything louder I guess. Louder is not necessarily better, I know. But I like loud. Regardless, last is where I left this idea, plus the lyrics below. Thanks for listening.

LOAD IT WITH STYLE
POUR ON THE FAKE
MOAN YOUR DENIAL
POSED AND OPAQUE

RAGE FROM A MALCONTENT
THE HAZE WRITTEN ON YOUR BREATH
BUT TO GO THAT WAY MEANS CERTAIN DEATH

LATE WHEN YOU’RE SMACKING FIVES
YOU FADE BUT YOUR SOUL SURVIVES
YOUR REIGN IS DONE WHEN YOU INFER
THAT YOU’RE WHAT YOU DECIDE
WHAT WILL YOU STAND FOR WHEN THEY COME WITH KNIVES?

DEMO 12.2.04 1:32pm

So this was my first foray into writing in 11/4. The final outcome of the demos listed below would result in Symmetry Pursuit X, the ninth track from A Forest Through The Trees.

The first demo was begun on 12.2.04, including the drum track, bass, guitars, plus a few synths at the end. The next file is from 6.6.05. At this point I’d added some scratch vocals that pretty much stink in my opinion, some chorus pads, more synths, and a guitar solo. A few steps forward, but nothing amazing for sure. The third file is from 9.15.05. I’m pretty sure I re-recorded the vocals and then layered some effects on top (still fairly not good though). I’ve also added a couple electric guitars and mixed everything slightly different. This one sounds pretty darn similar to the last one, so if you’re in a rush I really wouldn’t bother.

Last is the final version from A Forest Through The Trees. The difference is pretty severe, with live drums, new vocals, keys, bass, guitars, and a ton of FX swelling up at the end. The lyrics are also listed below. Thanks for listening.

SYMMETRY PURSUIT X

LOST ARE THE DAYS OF THE LONESOME UNKNOWN
SCRAWLED IN ARRAYS ON THE ROSETTA STONE

FREE FOR THE SOUNDS
KNOW WHAT SURROUNDS
FEEL MY WAY THROUGH SPACE AND TIME
BREATHE FOR THE TAO

THESE SONGS ARE ABLAZE ON THE WANDERING ROAD
OUR PSALMS AND CLICHES WILL DECIPHER THE CODE

FREE FOR THE SOUNDS
KNOW WHAT SURROUNDS
FEEL MY WAY THROUGH SPACE AND TIME
BREATHE FOR THE TAO

FREE FOR THE SOUNDS
KNOW WHAT SURROUNDS
FEEL MY WAY THROUGH SPACE AND TIME
BREATHE FOR THE TAO

DEMO 12.2.04 12:31pm

Here’s an ideal that never really came to fruition. It’s a slower acoustic number in 3/4 for which I never managed to write lyrics, even though I remember trying at one point. I guess I couldn’t come up with anything that was worthy enough. Honestly I don’t remember.

Apparently I started this on 12.2.04, then reached this version below on 3.3.05. I recorded some scratch vocals that you can hear, but it’s more humming than actual singing. Listening now, I think a bridge might have been a good choice. Perhaps I’ll turn this into something better someday, but for now it will remain here in its current condition.

Since I guess I also couldn’t come up with a good title, I named it CA7, which are the main chords through most of the song. Pretty imaginative, right?

Anyway, here it is. Thanks for listening.

DEMO 12.2.04 9:27am

The next file in order is an idea that would eventually become Luminosity, the first track from A Forest Through The Trees. I’ve chosen to post a few different versions of this track for a bit more perspective.

The first file I could find in the folder is dated 1.22.05. Since I stared recording the morning of 12.2.04, it seems to have taken more than a month of work to reach this version. Although I say a month of work, it’s not as if I was working on it nonstop. As you’re most likely aware, other considerations in life have a tendency to obstruct and prolong the creative process.

Regardless, the file from 1.22.05 is basically just guitars, bass, and a drum machine and seems to demonstrate the fundamental rhythmic notion at the root of the song. At this point, the project was titled ‘NIRV’. I have no idea why I gave it that title or what it means. As you’ll see later, I eventually decided to adopt a system of numbering instead of named titles, which seems to have resulted in more organizational pros than cons so far.

The second file is dated 10.16.05, which means that I worked on this idea on and off for more than 10 months. What was I doing all that time? I don’t know. It obviously took some time to write the lyrics, plus I got married in November 2005, so I was surely spending a lot of my free time on that in lieu of recording. I’m looking forward to when these posts catch up with my current creativity, which will hopefully be able to reflect a more detailed explanation of how and what I’m doing as I’m doing it. But for now I’ll have to remember the best I can.

On the file from 10.16.2005, I’ve added vocals as you’ll hear, the lyrics for which are listed below. I’m fairly certain that some if not all of these vocals made it onto the final mastered version from A Forest Through The Trees. I’ve also added some synths (some of my first experiments in using keyboards), plus additional feedback near the end. There’s also a phone ringing at the end that was included on one of the vocal track sessions by mistake. Very professional indeed. The vocals really aren’t all that spectacular in my opinion.

I’ve include the final as well so you have a reference point of how the track ended up on the album. We’ve added real drums, several more acoustic guitars, overdubbed the bass, more synths, strings, and even more feedback at the end. As you’ll hear, it’s a ton of sounds being thrown at you. I often have trouble making choices in how to edit my work, which is something I still struggle with to this day. Regardless, this was how I wanted it to sound for whatever reason.

LUMINOSITY

MY DARLING YOU ARE THE SEA
AND I AM THE LAND UNDER THEE
WHERE ARE THE ANSWERS TO LIFE ?
ARE THEY BETWEEN YOU AND I ?

CURVED IS THE EARTH
STRAIGHT IS THE LINE
I WILL RETURN WHEN THE PLANETS ALIGN

THIS IS A NIGHT FOR THE YOUNG
BLIND AND DESCRIBING THE SUN
STAND UP AND STEP TO THE FORE
DEFEND THE THINGS YOU ADORE

CURVED IS THE EARTH
STRAIGHT IS THE LINE
I WILL RETURN WHEN THE PLANETS ALIGN…

…LUMINOSITY!

DEMO 11.30.04 5:14pm

I’ll begin this series with the very first idea I could find in my files, all the way back from 11.30.2004. I've decided to list these demos in order of when they were started, not completed, which at this point seems like the most logical way to approach this. Most ideas are started, then set aside for a while, then picked back up at another point, the set aside again, and so on until I either feel satisfied with a final outcome or stop working on it entirely.

Presenting things in order of creation, even if the initial idea is very unformed and raw, will provide insight into my creative inclinations over time. Unfortunately there is no way for you to follow my creativity every step of the way without placing a streaming camera in the studio for you to watch things unfold in real time. Maybe that's a good idea though. For these older ideas, I'll just have to supply what evidence I have on hand, which will certainly widen the window into what I've created more than if I didn't do so at all.

Anyway, this obviously wasn’t the first idea I’d ever created in my life, but the first I could find from what I’d saved on different hard drives over the years. If I had access to every idea I’d ever created, it would stretch back much further of course. Since I wasn’t prone to recording everything back when, this will serve as an arbitrary starting point. If I find more ideas stashed away somewhere I’ll share those too.

Thanks for listening

MANY YEARS IN OUTER SPACE
I’VE RUN THIS CONTRABAND
THERE IS NO ONE OUT HERE HALF AS SWIFT AS I
I’LL RUN CIRCLES AROUND YOU IN THE BLINKING OF AN EYE
AS I JOURNEY ON A ROCKET IN THE SKY

MOVEMENT FLOWS UNDER ME
IT’S ALL WHERE IT SHOULD BE

MOVEMENT FLOWS UNDER ME
NOTHING’S WHERE IT SHOULD BE

SO I ADMIT I NEVER CARED
THAT THE SPEED IS ALL FOR SHOW
EVEN AS I SNOOZED IN TREACHEROUS SECTOR PHI
SO I’LL STEER THIS SHIP
RELAX AND SIP THIS TASTY EAU DE VIE
AS I JOURNEY ON A ROCKET IN THE SKY

DEMOS

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I create music. These past two or three years have been extremely busy, raising Violet and enjoying life, which hasn't allowed for much time or desire to share more than a handful of songs here and there. Although I worked very hard on those songs, there is much more music I've created as well. The releases currently listed on my website are just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak, ideas that pushed themselves to the forefront of my creative enjoyment and evolved further than the others as a result.

For a while now, I've been preoccupied with the question of what happens to the other ideas that haven't matured as far creatively. Even though these ideas haven't emerged as thoroughly, they are undoubtedly still important in my mind and worthy of sharing. The songs contained within my 'official' releases are the ones on which I've invested the most time and effort, either because I found them interesting or they were complemented by ideas of a similar caliber. Regardless of that process, I've concluded that those ideas alone represent only a small part of my creative disposition.

Perhaps it's natural that I would only want to share the best and most fully realized of what I create, to paint the best picture of my creative self to the public, instead of allowing you to hear other concepts that haven't come as close to completion. Since my current artistic identity includes allowing others to learn about what I create, I must not only share the best of those creations, but all of them. I refuse only to provide evidence of my artistic success and not my artistic failure. There cannot be one without the other. I don't think these ideas are failures at all actually, but simply part of the process and small successes in their own way. Regardless, presenting everything is the only way that you can obtain the most complete view of who I am as a musician.

As you've probably guessed by now (since I've been so eloquently loquacious about it), I'll be posting new music from a rather large collection of unfinished work. The first file will be posted shortly. As always, I invite you to share your thoughts if you so choose. Thanks for listening.

UNTIL NEXT TIME...

So obviously sharing information about my life hasn't been at the top of my list lately. Although I've tried to keep things going on this blog, I may not be posting here for a while. There are simply other things that thankfully demand my attention, like spending time with my family and actually creating music. I'm aware marketing gurus argue that posting something from time to time may give fans more insight into who the artist is and push them closer to purchasing merchandise. But honestly, I'm not concerned about that at all. However I would gladly converse (whether online or off) with anyone who would like to know me better - so please, don't be shy. If you enjoy listening to my music, I appreciate that more than I can say. I'll always be writing new songs and will release them to you when they're ready. However, what's most important to me right now is having time to write and be with the people I love. Thank you to anyone who reads this. See you someday in the future...

APPRECIATIVE

About two weeks ago I received a call from the company that owns my rehearsal space, telling me that they're planning to lease the entire building to a local church. Unfortunately, this also meant that I was no longer able to occupy said space. Although frustrating, 'tis the way it goes in this industry sometimes. After calling what must have been around two dozen places, I finally came across a post online by someone looking to share a rehearsal studio about 25 minutes away from where we live. It's a place I've know about for some time as being safe, well-constructed, with a very supportive owner. So the past two weeks have been mainly spent packing boxes and moving gear across town, all the while feeling extremely thankful that I found a new space so quickly. And now I'm back to work...

BREAKAGE

So last week I went on and on about my routine and how nice it's been nice to have a schedule to adhere to lately. The problem has been, well, adhering to it. Maintaining a discipline to achieve certain goals is challenging, much more so than formulating the plan. In any week given week, I'm usually able to accomplish the majority of what I set forth for myself, but usually find that something slips through the cracks somewhere.

Perhaps this is akin to what record companies used to call 'breakage.' Within the complex jargon of the contracts they slid across the table their artists to sign, a record company would often include a provision to withhold approximately 10% of the royalties due to said artist as a result of inventory that was damaged via distribution to the record stores. That was 'breakage' more or less. This policy was established during the days of vinyl due to the fragile nature of the material, but was also sneakily applied to the era of the much more-durable cassettes & CDs, which was seemingly a scam cooked up by the labels to squeeze out more profits.

Nonetheless, breakage in regard to vinyl did occur. Even though it most likely never occurred anywhere near the 10% for which those old contracts demanded compensation, it is conceivable that a fraction of inventory was damaged in transit. Shit happens. As much as you plan and plan and plan for a specific chain of events to play out according to your personal preferences, somewhere something will inevitably go awry.

But maybe this isn't really a problem. If anything in this world is routine, it's the element of imperfection. So why should I be frustrated when I don't accomplish everything that I had hoped I would? Should I be surprised? Do your best, they say. But I can't always do that. Who can? For all the effort, some things still just fall apart. Perhaps the lesson is in putting the pieces back together...

STANDARD PROCEDURE

A couple months ago I moved into a new rehearsal space here in Boulder. Driving down to the one I had been renting in Denver had been getting really expensive in gas, not to mention the time it took to get there. It took me a few weeks to find the new space, located in a spare studio room of a local theatre company. For all the musicians here, there is an surprising lack of rehearsal spaces for rent, which has made me extremely thankful for the space I'm in now. On most days I usually bike there in the morning and write for 2-3 hours before heading to work. It's a pleasant ride, with only a few intersections where I have to deal with traffic (Boulder has an lot of interconnected bike paths). Since I seem to enjoy routine these days, having this daily ritual has been rather satisfying. Dedicating this daily time to my creative endeavors has also allowed me to feel a bit less anxiety about their completion (although it's always there to a degree). In the past I've felt beholden to creative impulses, rushing to the studio or an instrument whenever some musical idea crept forth to pervade my consciousness. As time has passed, I've become aware that those ideas are always there, always nagging at me to free them from my mind, always battling for attention. I'm still young, but I have a difficult time seeing how they're ever going to stop. Freeing myself from that submission to creativity, especially on such a sporadic basis, has allowed me to appreciate the rest of life more fully, since there is so much out there to learn and enjoy. Perhaps I'll find a new configuration somewhere down the line that could be equally suitable and fulfilling. But for right now, this seems to be working...

Okay so I missed my one post a week goal last week. Whatever. No one reads this stuff anyway. Well, that's not true. You're reading it, right? Thanks.

I'm finally back in Colorado now after a week long tour of North Carolina with my old band Cast Iron Filter. It was thrilling to perform all those songs again, especially with such good friends. I'd also like to say thank you to everyone who came out to the shows - you guys are super awesome.

I've been able to get back to writing this week, which has been wonderful and immensely therapeutic. At the moment I've conjured up around 30-40 ideas, only 6-7 of which are actually worth pursuing though. I'm trying my best to be patient. Even though the songs are coming along, I'm not sure they fit together quite yet. It's simply going to take more time and experimentation until this new project comes into focus.

Regardless, the bigger problem at the moment is making it through this heat wave. We've had 5 straight days over 100 with no air-conditioning here. I think it's only supposed be in the high 90s for the next week though. Stupendous!

Ok it's too hot to sit here and type. Stay cool everyone...

Alright then. This week I'm back in North Carolina to play a few shows with my old band Cast Iron Filter. Almost 10 years ago the four of us were out on the road at least six months a year, which was challenging at times but mostly exhilarating. Even though we're all still friends and have accomplished quite a few things individually over the years, it'll be very nice to get together again and play some music. We'll be on tour through next Saturday, so I'll let you know how everything goes next week. Have a good weekend everyone...

Okay so I obviously haven't posted on here in quite a while. The past few months have been quite busy to say the least. A wide array of events has occurred, although the biggest development by far is that my wife and I are about to have our first child in a couple months. And oooooh yes it's going to be awesome. I really haven't thought much about sitting down to expound about my life since I've been too busy living it honestly. But here I am again, typing away. The hopeful plan is to present you with one new post per week, which I'm sure is highly titillating to the small number of you who actually read what I write here. As always, I deeply appreciate your continued attention and interest. Don't worry - I'm still creating music and plan to share some of it with you as soon as possible. But for now I'm going to go put a nursery together...pretty cool huh? See you next week...